Not to say, it won’t happen. Not everyone looks at things in the same way. We all view everything informed by our own personality/wants/objectives: Success; relationships; the point of everything. Some people are driven by money and/or greed; some are driven by ambition and/or vanity; some people just want to get through it all with the least fuss and by making the fewest waves possible.
Depending on the day, I’m all of these.
Today, it was just trying to get through it all. Starting my second job in three weeks will start Tuesday, hot on the heels of my mother-in-law moving back to Bac Ninh and my daughter getting a high fever all weekend. Granny left yesterday and my wife had to work a half-day and, like I said, I had one kid running a high fever. And on top of all this, I had this mountain of work from my new job looming in the back of my mind, coloring the whole thing as if Monday would be even worse when Sunday ended.
But that’s the point. Nothing ever gets better. Or worse. It simply IS.
Turnips
I’ll be 44 in July. That day were everything gets easier/less hectic/more relaxed? Yeah, I gave up on that lie years ago. Unless you are a turnip, you are likely to undergo some life-altering situations. Even turnips have those; they get harvested and (some of you) eat them. The turnip may not even be aware of this situation, or that it is even a turnip. It simply grows one day, and is eaten the next. How many of you have attended a wake for a turnip? Very few, I expect. And the turnip is OK with that.
I’m not trivializing everyday life, far from it. But we’ve all got our problems. The companies I work for/have worked for/will work for all have different dramas that need to be dealt with/quelled/overcome, as has any person or venture ever in the history of commerce. How much you choose to let your COMPANY’S drama color your own perspective is on you.
I got the front page photo in by deadline. I finished writing the Grade 6 science exam before deadline. If you really want to turn back the clock, I handed in the book report before lunch.
The more of these little hurdles you overcome, the less emotional you become about them as you age. I’m not saying you shouldn’t assign importance to each of them; rather, the amount of importance you choose is what warrants examination.
Baby has a fever
My daughter has had fevers before. In fact, during my time in Vietnam, I’ve discovered what wouldn’t raise an eyebrow in Canada is considered a minor emergency here. And each time, she’s pulled through.
Whenever a deadline loomed, the paper always made it to press. Whenever the education officials gave us a due date for the ESL books I worked on, they got done.
The difference is, a book or a front page or an email or a tax return simply aren’t life-or-death issues. My daughter running a fever far outweighs any of these, and there are people reading this now who’ve dealt with far worse.
The upshot of all this? Stress is, ultimately, a WASTE OF TIME.
Some of you will disagree. You’ll ask: Without it, why do anything? Why lift more weights, or chase promotions, or learn that new pose in yoga class? Where will all my DRAMA come from?
Dealing with stressed-out people/shouters
And this is the key distinction: For many, STRESS and DRAMA are the same thing. Without stress, what would we all have to complain about? What would keep us up at night? Or use as a crutch to shout at other people when we can’t process it all?
Think, for a moment, about your relationship with stress. What has it driven you to do? How have you dealt with it? How has it made you deal with others when you’re having a “bad day?”
The most infuriating thing I do to people who are using stress as a reason to give me a hard time is KILL THEM WITH KINDNESS. It’s unbelievably infuriating to someone who clearly wants a confrontation to then soak them in happy sunshine. They know how much of an A-hole they’ll end up looking like when it’s being a prick to someone who’s been nothing but nice to them (whether it’s sincere or not).
Of course, in some companies, they’ll still find a way to get you fired so this plan of attack may not work for every situation.
End of story, stress is RELATIVE. YOU can choose how much or how little it affects you. I was all set to write myself a 16-year plan to get through parenting and adult life today, but I just saw it as too much work. Some people will go out of their way to dwell on useless crap; others will coast through life without making a ripple or offending a soul. All of them, however, still deal with some degree of stress. The moment they realize the futility of it all is when they’re most likely to some degree of happiness.
Source: The Saigon Times